why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I have aggressive nipples.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
