Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
