I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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