i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
