Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
