HIV tests are more positive than that guy
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
