Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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