I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
