well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
