pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
too bad you live with your parents still
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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