kristin has been a bad kristin
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
