Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
