We got so high we made milksteak
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
