And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize