Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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