just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
