He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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