There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize