you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
