but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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