So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
