Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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