Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
