is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
