And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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