i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
