I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
