Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i love accidental penises.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
