i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize