I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
