what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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