I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize