Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
