I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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