You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
