Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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