My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
