Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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