guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We left the knife in your bed.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
