Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
