apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
