Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
