am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
