His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
