I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
