well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
