Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
