no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
