Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
