I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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