I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
