he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
