Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
