I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
