i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize